It's the evening before the first day of school at HKIS, and my head has spinning. The past week has been full of emotions, and I thought it prudent to purge my brain before the chaos of class begins tomorrow.
Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time in faculty meetings over the past 6 days. There has been an incomprehensible amount of information flowing out of HKIS which is both a blessing and a curse. I'm glad that the school is working so hard to keep all of us informed, but to be perfectly honest, it's all incredibly overwhelming.
Last Wednesday, the entire HKIS faculty (both new and returning members of the staff) gathered for a convocation and brunch. What I thought would be a nice event turned into a panic-inducing episode. There are more than 250 faculty at staff at HKIS, and it seemed that everyone knew somebody; except for me. I rarely felt so isolated and alone. It reminded me how far away I am from the familiar surroundings of St. Louis and Chaminade. I became so overwhelmed, in fact, that I broke down in tears and called my good friend in St. Louis to express my anguish. He and his wife listened intently and offered comforting words, but I still spent the rest of the day in a state of anxious regret. As the day went on, I spiraled out of control and sent a desperate e-mail to my closest friends expressing my desire to come home. Wednesday, August 7 was a rough day; probably the worst I've had since my arrival in Hong Kong. I was only hours away from packing my bags and heading to the airport.
Thursday and Friday were a bit better. I had a chance to meet with my middle school colleagues, and I felt like I was gaining traction on school related matters. The homesickness persisted, however, and I made an appointment with a local doctor to discuss my feelings. She was a good listener and reminded me that such drastic transitions simply take time. (That's everyone's advice). Friday was another day of progress and I had another good discussion with one of the school counselors. He had a way of breaking down my fears into manageable tasks, and he's agreed to help me work through these issues.
I tried to keep myself distracted throughout the weekend. One of my favorite tasks was planning a winter ski trip with my dad to Jackson Hole, WY. For hours on Saturday, I simply got lost in the bliss of thinking about the American West; that kept me happy. Sunday was a terrible day because I had no plan. Again, I was close to flying out of HK and putting an end to my misery. I'm simply getting tired of being stressed and tired.
Yesterday (Monday), reinforcements arrived! My brother arrived in Hong Kong to offer some moral support and help me sort out some issues. I can't adequately express how comforting it is to have some family nearby. I am still not convinced that I belong in Hong Kong, but at least we can share some ideas and conversations about where I go from here. It's really too bad that I've had to move 7,000 miles away to grow closer to my family.
At school, I still feel overwhelmed. There's simply too much stuff I don't know. I don't understand the class webpage, the online grade book, my curriculum, lesson plans, where to get supplies, etc. Usually, the first day of school is the highlight of my year. At Chaminade, I knew the 7th & 8th graders and I felt comfortable. At HKIS, I still feel very alone and I'm terrified!
I hope the kids bring me some solace. I need it. I'm still not convinced that this was a wise move, but I've got friends and family determined to help me persevere. We'll just have to wait and see where it all goes.
Tomorrow may be the first day of school and the first day of something new...
Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time in faculty meetings over the past 6 days. There has been an incomprehensible amount of information flowing out of HKIS which is both a blessing and a curse. I'm glad that the school is working so hard to keep all of us informed, but to be perfectly honest, it's all incredibly overwhelming.
Last Wednesday, the entire HKIS faculty (both new and returning members of the staff) gathered for a convocation and brunch. What I thought would be a nice event turned into a panic-inducing episode. There are more than 250 faculty at staff at HKIS, and it seemed that everyone knew somebody; except for me. I rarely felt so isolated and alone. It reminded me how far away I am from the familiar surroundings of St. Louis and Chaminade. I became so overwhelmed, in fact, that I broke down in tears and called my good friend in St. Louis to express my anguish. He and his wife listened intently and offered comforting words, but I still spent the rest of the day in a state of anxious regret. As the day went on, I spiraled out of control and sent a desperate e-mail to my closest friends expressing my desire to come home. Wednesday, August 7 was a rough day; probably the worst I've had since my arrival in Hong Kong. I was only hours away from packing my bags and heading to the airport.
Thursday and Friday were a bit better. I had a chance to meet with my middle school colleagues, and I felt like I was gaining traction on school related matters. The homesickness persisted, however, and I made an appointment with a local doctor to discuss my feelings. She was a good listener and reminded me that such drastic transitions simply take time. (That's everyone's advice). Friday was another day of progress and I had another good discussion with one of the school counselors. He had a way of breaking down my fears into manageable tasks, and he's agreed to help me work through these issues.
I tried to keep myself distracted throughout the weekend. One of my favorite tasks was planning a winter ski trip with my dad to Jackson Hole, WY. For hours on Saturday, I simply got lost in the bliss of thinking about the American West; that kept me happy. Sunday was a terrible day because I had no plan. Again, I was close to flying out of HK and putting an end to my misery. I'm simply getting tired of being stressed and tired.
Yesterday (Monday), reinforcements arrived! My brother arrived in Hong Kong to offer some moral support and help me sort out some issues. I can't adequately express how comforting it is to have some family nearby. I am still not convinced that I belong in Hong Kong, but at least we can share some ideas and conversations about where I go from here. It's really too bad that I've had to move 7,000 miles away to grow closer to my family.
At school, I still feel overwhelmed. There's simply too much stuff I don't know. I don't understand the class webpage, the online grade book, my curriculum, lesson plans, where to get supplies, etc. Usually, the first day of school is the highlight of my year. At Chaminade, I knew the 7th & 8th graders and I felt comfortable. At HKIS, I still feel very alone and I'm terrified!
I hope the kids bring me some solace. I need it. I'm still not convinced that this was a wise move, but I've got friends and family determined to help me persevere. We'll just have to wait and see where it all goes.
Tomorrow may be the first day of school and the first day of something new...
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